


amaurotic

by bubbiegirll



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Adorable, Blind!Ryan, Fluff and Angst, I’m sorry in advance, M/M, Shane caring for Ryan, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wholesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27562144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbiegirll/pseuds/bubbiegirll
Summary: since day one, ryan has seen nothing but an inky, black void. he's been nothing but alone for majority of his life. that is until one boy makes him feel special and will do everything in his power to make ryan feel special. accepted.ORryan just wants to see all the pretty colours that shane talks about.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	1. BABY BLUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan and shane relax in the warm sun together, and talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

resting on the grass, sat two lovers, basking in the warm rays of the sunlight. neither of them spoke, as they knew that they didn’t need to in order to communicate. nonetheless, the warm, spring breeze, dancing it’s way through the trees leaves, filled the gentle silence with noise. the breeze was light; nothing more than a soft touch, or, a tender kiss from the heavens, as it played with the two’s hair, making them smile. with hands locked together; fingers intertwined, the two felt nothing but complete and utter bliss. it was moments like this, that made the couple feel quite content, as it allowed them the ability to shut the world out for a bit, and just be able to sink in the others presence.

opening his eyes, shane looked over at ryan and felt himself falling in love with the man all over again, as he watched his hair blow slightly in the wind, and the way the sunlights rays would highlight his features, making it seem as if he was glowing... he just looked so angelic, and it made shane’s heart beat that little bit faster.

as if he were on autopilot, shane leaned over and gently kissed ryan's forehead; smiling that little bit wider as he saw ryan's cheeks blossom a beautiful pink.

“what was that for?” ryan asked as his he slowly opened his eyes, tilting his head towards shane.

“you just looked so ethereal, i just couldn’t help myself” shane replied, as he pulled some of ryan’s hair out of his face, cupping his cheek with his hand; smiling at him.

ryan just giggled before sighing with content, as he placed on of his hands on top of shane’s, leaning more into his touch.

“shane?” ryan questioned as he closed his eyes once again, taking in the whole of his surroundings.

“yes, my love?” shane asked as started to stroke ryan’s cheek with his thumb.

“tell me something about the colour blue” ryan said, drinking in the warm sensation of shane’s skin on his, setting off small fireworks within him.

“ok, what would you like to know?” shane quizzed.

shane was used to this; ryan asking him if he could tell him about the colours. he would ask shane to go into detail about the smallest of things, regarding the colours, and shane began to think it was so ryan could try and imagine what it was shane was describing. ryan had once asked if him asking shane to telling him everything about colours annoyed him, only for shane to tell him that he enjoyed going into detail about colours, because, it helped him have a new outlook on them.

"the feeling of it” ryan started as he pulled shane’s hand way from his face; bringing it to his lap to lace their fingers together. “it’s emotions"

“ok, is there a specific type of blue you’d like to know about?” pursued shane as he brought up ryan’s hand up to his lips, kissing it softly.

pondering, ryan glided his free hand across the soft blades of grass, adoring the way that they tickled his skin ever so slightly.

"baby blue" he sighed after some time.

"baby blue, huh? well, baby blue, also known as light blue, is probably one of the most popular shades of blue, due to the fact, it’s what most parents paint their nursery if they’re having a baby boy" shane began, looking up to feel the warmth of the sun on his face. “it’s a calming and peaceful colour; matched with the fact we pair it with a gentle nature”

as ryan took in everything that shane had said, he felt shane leave a gentle kiss on kiss cheek, causing heat to rush up to his face. he giggled like a little school girl, gushing over her crush to her best friend, and ducked his head into the crook of shane’s neck.

“isn’t it strange to think that there is so many variations of the one colour” ryan mumbled as he pushed himself further into shane’s neck.

"i suppose so, i mean, some people see colours differently to other people; not everyone may see the same shades of blues that i see, so it’s not really that strange to think about, i guess. like, you can mix blue with different amounts of black and white to get different colours" thought shane as he played with ryan’s hair.

nodding, ryan looked up, in hopes to see the beautiful sky that shane would go on about from time to time, only to see an inky black void yet again. as much as ryan would hate to admit it, but it honestly made him sad. he wanted to experience the world’s beauty first hand, instead of hearing it all from shane because everyone see’s things differently, if ryan had the ability to see, there’s a possibility that he would see the world differently to shane.

"i want to see them... i want to see all the colours; i want to see all the blue's" ryan sniffed as his eyes began to gloss over from his sudden need to cry.

patting ryan’s hair, shane whispered:"you will baby; one day" before kissing ryan’s forehead, and standing up, helping ryan up at the same time.

"let's get going, yeah?" shane said as he handed ryan his stick, only for ryan to respond with a nod. the two making their way towards their car.


	2. LAVENDER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> small pillow talk between ryan and shane.

the two lied in bed; tangled in the sheets as ryan rested his head on shane’s chest, the sound of his heart acting as a lullaby. shane gently played with ryan's hair; twisting it, and coiling it, around his fingers, the feeling giving ryan a feeling of complete bliss — he loved it when shane played with his hair.

burying himself further into shane’s chest, he couldn’t help but try to imagine just what shane looked like. 

"shane...?” asked ryan quietly as he struggled to keep himself awake.

“yes, ry?”

“what are colours exactly? what do they mean?"

as much as shane was used to ryan’s weird questions, this one threw him for a fault. how do you explain what colours are?

"what are colours exactly? well, i'm not sure how to explain it, sorry. but, i do know that colours mean different things to different people”

"what do you mean?" ryan asked, lifting himself up to face shane. 

"well, bub, some people take colours for granted; colours are just a meaningless thing to them that are just, you know, there. some other people, on the other hand, embrace colours; letting them be apart of their day to day lives" replied shane before kissing ryan; feeling the younger smile into it.

"how do you feel about colours, shane?"

"when i was younger, i used to take colours for granted. colour was something that was apart of everyday life... but when i met you, that changed. ryan, you made me realise the importance of colours. they can express a feeling or emotion; colours can be louder than words when it comes to feelings... i know that we need colours in our lives and even though you can't see them, ryan, i know you can feel them"

"what colour would peace represent then?" ryan asked, cupping the right side of shane’s face with his hand, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

closing his eyes, shane leaned into his lovers touch; euphoria running through his veins.

"hmm... for peace i would say lavender"

"lavender, what is lavender? explain it to me"

from hearing the name of a new colour, ryan sat up in shane’s lap, pulling his hand away from his face, with nothing but pure excitement, and as much as shane missed the feeling of ryan’s palm on his face, he couldn’t help but smile. he loved it when ryan got like this; excited over a colour he has never heard before, it truly made shane’s heart flutter.

"lavender... lavender is kind of a chalky purple; a bit muted you could say... but when i see lavender, it calms me, i feel at ease"

“where can you find it?” ryan asked and shane could basically feel him vibrating. 

“lavender is one of those colours you don’t really see a lot, but if you must know, it’s the colour of one of the walls in our living room”

"really?"

"yes, baby" shane nodded, bring ryans hand up to his lips and planting a kiss on his palm.

"hey, shane, what colour do you feel when you're with me?"

"when i'm with you? i'd have to say either green or orange"

"why green and orange?" ryan asked, cocking his head to the side, which made reminded shane of a confused puppy.

"aren't you just full of questions today?"

shane chuckled but immediately knew that was the wrong move to make when ryan grew quiet and slinked off shane's lap to lie next to him. it was common for ryan to have moments like this, and shane didn't blame him; ryan was insecure about a lot of things, and tried not to ask a lot of questions, in fear of being annoying.

"i'm sorry..."

"no, don't apologise, bubs, it's cute, i like it when you ask me questions... anyway, why green and orange? well, green is a relaxed, cool colour and with you, i feel nothing but relaxed. orange, on the other hand, enhances happiness and is a friendly, warm colour... and when i'm with you, ryan, that's when i'm the happiest"

"shane?"

"yes, ryan?"

"you're an absolute sap, you know that right?" shane laughed before kissing ryan's shoulder tenderly. "oh, ryan, you know you love it"

"yeah, yeah, whatever... i love you"

"i love you too, ry"


	3. TEAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan learns what the difference between warm and cool colours is.

it was early in the morning; orange and pink hues coating the sky as the sun awoke. staring out through their kitchen window, shane watched the sky change it’s colours, much like a chameleon, as he waited for the kettle to boil. shane loved sunrises; the happy vibe they brought forth as they welcomed a new day full of surprises.

the kettle whistled, breaking shane away from his thoughts, and proceeded to make coffee for not only himself, but ryan as well. ryan had a doctors appointment in a few hours, so shane was awake, fixing up breakfast for the two of them. after preparing the coffee, he filled up to mugs and left them on the bench as he made his way towards his and ryan’s bedroom.  
opening the door, he saw ryan curled up in their white sheets, which contrasted nicely with his tan skin.

he looked absolutely breathtaking. 

shane almost didn’t want to wake him because of how peaceful he looked, but he knew that if he didn’t, ryan would be pissed at him for making them miss his appointment. so, reluctantly, shane shook ryan gently. 

“ry, time to get up, bub”

rolling onto his back, ryan slowly began to open his eyes, rubbing them to remove the sleep that formed around them. 

“shane?”

“yes, good morning, love”

“what time is it?”

glancing down at his watch, shane saw the hands just tick over 6:30. 

“it’s just pass 6:30. do you want me to leave you to fully wake up? i’ll call you down in a bit if you want”

ryan just shook his head, and grabbed for one of shane’s hands, enjoying the feeling of shane’s warm hand pressed against his.

“no no, it’s ok”

“alright, well come one, little one, there’s a coffee waiting for you on the bench”

pulling him out of bed, shane held ryan’s hand as he led them down the corridor, as he knew that ryan was still a little but delusional from just waking up and wasn’t 100% sure of his surroundings just yet.  
sitting ryan down at one of their chairs at the edge of the bench, shane handed him his coffee, drinking in the moment as he watched the mornings suns rays cascade over his lovers face, and shane swore that he felt himself fall even hard for the younger. 

“shane, what's the difference between warm and cool colours?"

"well, that's an easy question, baby. warm colours are warm and cool colours are, well, cold. colours that are reds, oranges, yellows and pinks, or anything similar, are classified as warm. even though some can be a little hard on the eyes; yellow for example, it's still represented as the sun. cool colours are purples, greens and blues. they're cold yet calming... just like an ocean breeze. why do you ask my love?” 

ryan paused, licking his lips as he took sip of his hot beverage. “it’s just that, you always go one about the different colours that decorate the morning sky when the sunrises and, i just wanted to know what the difference truly was between the sky being: a calming blue, as you say, and a blushing pink” 

“oh, ok”

“this is probably a stupid question, but where do black and white fall on that scale?”

shane shook his head. “ryan, that isn’t a stupid question. black and white... well i suppose black would be a cool colour and white would be a warm one? i’m not really sure. when you think about cold things; dead things, you think of black, but you could also associate black with hot coals. with white, you could associate it with snow, ice, winter, but you could also link it with fluffy clouds on a nice summers day”

ryan just nodded his head, he knew that shane explain the colours to him wasn’t the same as him experiencing them all for himself, but it’s not like he could miraculously make himself see — it didn’t work like that, but god did he wish that it did.

"what's on your mind, baby? you seem to be in deep thought"

ryan wanted nothing more than to see the world and everything it had to offer, but he also just wanted to see shane; what shane looked like, even if it was just for a split second. he wanted to look shane in the eye, see all the sincerity, love, affection, lust, adoration. he wanted to see shane and how he expressed himself, instead of having to feel it. he wanted to see the sun shine on his face, highlighting his features.

he wanted to see shane in all of his glory. 

shaking his head, ryan just came up with a simple excuse. "oh, nothing, i was just thinking about what you look like and the next colour i want you to tell me about"

"oh, ry, soon, i promise, soon you'll be able to know; be able to see everything in this beautiful, beautiful world... as for colours, what did you think of?"

"i heard people in the hospital talk about teal...? what's that?"

"wow, ok, teal... teal is a hybrid colour; a mixture of blue and green"

ryan nodded his head, looking intently at shane as he took in the information that he was being given. "where do you find it?"

"sometimes the sea is a dark teal colour"

at the mention of the ocean, ryan felt a sense of longing. he missed the sea; the water, and they way that a salty scent would be left hanging in the air. the way that the waves would calmly crash against the bay as the sound of seagulls could be heard all around.

"can we go there soon? to the ocean i mean"

"anything for you, baby"

ryans cheeks coloured as shane kissed him; love bubbling deep within, causing him to feel warm.

"anyway, we have to start getting you ready for your appointment, so finish your coffee"

"aye aye, captain"


	4. YELLOW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan and shane bask in the bright moonlight and talk until there are no more words to say.

it was late; the sky dark and yet clear. twinkling stars painting it as the bright moon stood out, guiding those lost, home. most people at this time would either be cuddled up on the couch with someone they love most, tucking their beloveds gently into bed; kissing their forehead as they bid them a goodnights rest, or, they were parting, enjoying their lives with those whom they enjoy life with. ryan and shane, on the other hand, were taking a quiet stroll through a park, basking in one another's presence, and the scent in which the other carried; shane smelling of nothing more than cinnamon, whilst ryan smelt of a calming mixture between peppermint and vanilla. 

the park was dimly lit; a couple of small ground lights imbedded in the soil between every few plants, and roughly one or two lamps lighting up the gazebo that stood secluded in the middle of a small forest of trees. the gazebo was shane's favourite place and would refer to it as his and ryan's spot, as it was far away from all the commotion in the playground in which the children would play on; enjoying their youth with all of their might; parents standing by proudly as they watch their children achieve the smallest of goals, with the biggest smiles on their faces. however, plants of all different kinds grew by the gazebo, and shane always enjoyed telling ryan about a new plant every time they sat at that gazebo. 

"what colours are the flowers, shane?" ryan asked, as he interlocked his fingers with shane's, enjoying the way that shane tightened his grip on the youngers hand; bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back of it. 

a quiet late night walk was exactly what they needed. ryan's appointments haven't been very good and it's really taken a toll on the two of them; fights and arguments happening more often that the two would like to admit. 

"the flowers? they're white and pink, why?"

as shane gazed over at ryan, he saw the way the moonlight caressed his tan skin; making it appear lighter than what it really was. he noticed the way the reflection of the stars danced in ryan's eyes, making them appear brighter, happier, more alive; complete contrast to what they have been as of recent, and shane knew he was partly to blame for ryan's sadness, which made shane really want to beat his own self to a pulp. 

"i-i" ryan stuttered, trying to find the right words to say. "i like the way your voice sounds when you explain things to me"

"you like the way my voice sounds?" 

"yeah, it's soothing... your voice is soothing" 

shane just nodded; admiring the way that it looked as if ryan was looking at something, when in reality, he wasn't looking at anything. the lack of light meat that there wasn't anything that seemed brighter than all the rest, leading ryan's eyes to move round rapidly as he tried his hardest to find at least the smallest bit of light he could fixate on.

"in that case, the colours both mean different things; white meaning innocence, whilst pink means things like tranquility and femininity, as, much like baby blue, people like to refer to the colour pink as a colour only meant for girls, which is idiotic; colours are colours, something you use to bring the life back to something that was once perceived as dull, and shouldn't be defined to a gender" 

ryan hummed, lulling the two into silence. he glanced in the direction that shane was in, wondering how different things might've been if the roles were switched and it was shane whom was blind, rather than ryan.

"yellow" 

ryan spoke suddenly, catching shane off guard.

"yellow? what about it?" 

"what do you mean 'what about it'? tell me about it"

"oh, well, yellow... it's a warm colour; one that is associated with happiness and optimism. it is said that it helps spark confidence and curiosity" 

"a colour can do that? give people confidence?" 

ryan highly doubted that one colour could have that much of an effect on someone. like sure, everyone had a favourite colour, maybe even two, or three, but is your favourite colour basically going to be your hype man?

"if the professionals says it does, then maybe it can" 

ryan just shook his head before muttering a small "idiot" under his breath, causing shane to let out a very loud laugh, which probably would've woken at least one person up had they been at the playground rather than the gazebo.

"shane, what's your favourite colour?"

"my favourite colour? to be honest, i'm not quite sure. every colour has it's own story; it's own meaning. some colours are hybrids; can only be combined if you use a specific amount of certain colours, making them somewhat special, but, who's to say that our so called 'basic colours' aren't special either... there is just so many to choose from that i find it quite difficult to choose one"

"i mean, fair enough. besides, why do we have to choose a favourite colour anyway?"

"i don't know, bubs" 

as the two sat next to one another, shane brought his arm up and rested it on ryan's shoulders; bringing him in closer. the late night breeze tousled the two's hair; messing it up a bit, but, it was peaceful; as shane placed a soft kiss on ryan's cheek, his heart swelled and he knew that there was nowhere else in this world he'd rather be. he was as happy as a yellow flower.


	5. BLUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shane lulls ryan to sleep with a simple song.

it was in the early hours of the morning; ryan and shane were cuddled up on their couch. they had finished watching a movie, the brightness of the dvd's select screen illuminating the room; an empty bowl of popcorn left unattended on the ground, as ryan rested his head on shane's chest, listening careful to the sounds of shane's heartbeat; shane raking his fingers through ryan's hair, drinking in the comfortable silence that surrounded the two.

the two were both movie fanatics; shane appreciating the cinematic shots and foley sound, whilst ryan adored the soundtracks and the acting - the way the characters would interact with one another and how their voices would shift depending on the scene, so, spending their sunday nights together, curled up on the couch, wasn't something that was unusual.

the silence wasn't deafening, it was soothing; peaceful, complete juxtaposition to what it was only mere hours ago. they had gotten into their worse argument by far, which lead to hurtful things being said by both counter parts; shane had been labeled a cruel and ryan had been labeled a burden. shane knew how insecure ryan was and how terrified he was about being a burden to people, so when shane had said that, ryan shut down, only talking to shane after he apologized and gifted him a tender loving hug. he apologized time and time again about how he didn't mean it, that it was only the rage talking, and ryan had never once been a burden to him. ryan believed him and the two made up and decided to watch a movie. of course there was still some slight tension in the air, but nothing too suffocating. 

ryan and shane both knew that their relationship was growing rocky, but they didn't know what it was that they could do in order to fix it. if they were being completely honest, they weren't even sure what suddenly sprouted this ever growing tension between them. with any couple, their were arguments; disagreements, ryan and shane weren't an exception. they didn't see eye on something's and that would sometimes cause a small disagreement, but not once did they ever feel extreme fits of rage where they would call each other harsh things. that just wasn't them.

breaking the silence, ryan mumbled a small "shane?" as he pressed himself further into shane's chest.

"yeah?"

"what's happening to us?"

shane wished he had an answer to that question, but he didn't. 

what was happening to them? they were once this happy-go-lucky couple but were now crumbling; they were in ruins. shane supposed that the two were now entering out of their 'honeymoon phase' as some would say, but shane knew that there was defiantly something else to it - there just had to be.

"i don't know, ry, i really don't"

"do you think-" ryan paused, he wasn't sure if the thing he was about to say, was something that he should even say, but what else was he supposed to think. they were slowly falling apart and ryan wasn't sure that he wanted to stay with someone that called him a burden. yes, he knew that shane apologized but... you never know with these things. "do you think we should break up"

that caught shane off guard; that was the last thing he expect ryan to say. without ryan, shane was nothing. ryan was the one that taught shane to appreciate everything that the world had to offer; even the smallest of things, like the way leaves would crunch when you would step on them during the autumn, or the way the footpaths would slowly change colour in the rain. even the way the sun would dip under the horizon; going to sleep, leaving a beautiful mixture of colours behind it, before everything turn to black and the stars and moon would become the beauties of the sky.

"why- what do you mean?"

"i mean- do you think it would be better for the two of us if we broke up?"

despite the calmness in ryan's voice, he was being to feel his throat close up. of course he didn't want to break up with shane - he loved shane. shane was the first person that was genuinely there for him. after he was born, he was put up for adoption after the doctors told his parents that there was a chance that ryan would never be able to see again, and when he game out as gay to his foster parents, the kicked him out onto the street, wanting absolutely nothing to do with him... but then he met shane, and everything was beginning to work out just fine - he was legitimately happy for the first time in his life.

"what makes you say that, ryan?"

"i mean, look at us shane, we're falling apart"

"we aren't falling apart, we're just going through a rough patch, but we'll get through this, i know we will"

tears were beginning to form in both of their eyes. they hated this. they hated that for some random reason, this unforeseen tension was tangling itself around them.

"but what if we don't, shane. what if this is the end for us, what if there isn't away to recover from this. i can't live without you shane, you mean so much too me and you've helped me through my darkest times, but what if this is it. we've been fighting so much; it's tearing us apart. i just- i can't-"

shane just sat up and held ryan tightly in his arms; bringing him in as close as humanly possible. after a while, ryan finally calmed down and shane wiped his tears away with the pad of his thumb.

"shane... can you sing to"

"you know i can't"

"i don't mind, i just want to hear your voice"

"what do you want me to sing?

"anything, i don't mind, i just want to hear your voice... i guess you could say i'm addicted to it"

in a gentle voice, shane spoke: "and i guess you could say i'm whipped for you"

clearing his throat, shane began singing.

"april, come she will,  
when streams are ripe and swelled with rain.  
may, she will stay,  
resting in my arms again" 

on many occasions, ryan had heard shane sing, and he would be lying if he said it didn't make the butterfly's in his stomach flutter. anyone could see that ryan was madly in love with shane; the cute little moments that the two would share. even if the two were out in public, they would always do something that would cause both of their hearts to skip a beat in unison - it was as if they were the last two people on planet earth; no body mattered to them and they didn't care what people had to say about their relationship because, they were happy and that's all that matters.

"june, she'll change her tune,  
in restless walks she'll prowl the night.  
july, she will fly,  
and give no warning to her flight" 

shane's voice never failed to soothe him; lull him to sleep. whenever ryan had a nightmare, or something had set his anxiety and paranoia off, shane would always bring him back; singing whatever lullaby he thought of first.

"august, die she must,  
the autumn winds blow chilly and cold.  
september, I'll remember,  
a love once new has now grown old" 

by the end of it, ryan was fast asleep, and shane; listening to ryan's steady breaths, was too soon sent into the realm of dreams, where things were just that little bit better.


	6. BLACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shane bathes ryan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is incredibly short i'm so sorry

it was one of those wholesome moments; tranquil, calm and yet, so very vulnerable and familiar. with ryan's circumstances, shane helps him bathe. in the beginning, it was of course a bit awkward, but once the two began to open up to one another and let their guard down, it began to turn into one of those rare beautiful moments; often filled with small meaningless conversations and quiet giggles. however, with the two constantly feeling as if they're walking on eggshells around one another, the tension had grown and bath time was silent. it scared ryan as he wasn't used to having this kind of atmosphere surrounding them. it made him wonder if they were at their ending point. 

maybe it was. 

"you've tensed up, what's the matter?" shane asked as he washed some of the shampoo out of ryan's hair; running his fingers through it to make sure there was nothing left. 

"oh- it's nothing" 

"ryan-" shane pressed, stopping what he was doing to get a better look at ryan and his facial expression. 

"you just sent a shiver down my spine is all" 

'but you didn't shake' is what shane wanted to say, but decided against it as he didn't want to sprout another argument; they had just gotten over the one they had the other day and they really didn't need to get into another feud. shane wanted things to end on a good note, not a toxic one. 

as shane raked his fingers through ryan's hair; coating it in conditioner, ryan could help but ask: "what colour is my hair again?"

"ryan we've been over this, you ask this literally every time i wash your hair. it's black, my dear, but in the sunlight it almost looks like a deep brown- it's quite lovely"

ryan just nodded and shane couldn't help but sigh before the two plunged into another awkward silence.

"i want to dye my hair"

"what the- i'm sorry, you want to what?"

with shane sounding so flabbergasted, ryan couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

"i said, shane, i want to dye my hair"

shane at this point was at a lost for words and ryan couldn't help but laugh. ryan was good at surprising shane with the random nonsense that he would utter, but this really took the cake.

the only word shane felt as if he could mutter was: "why?" 

"boredom, plus, how many blind people do you know go out and dye their hair, hm? not a lot i'm guessing"

"ryan, you making it out to sound like i know tons of blind people- i don't"

"what a shame, i heard they're great fun"

"ryan-" shane just shook his head as he tried to hold back a disappointed sigh. "we can go and get your hair dyed tomorrow if you want"

"wait, really?"

"i mean, why not, i know someone whom i can give a call and we'll see if we can go and get your hair done tomorrow" "oh my god, i- please? it would mean the world to me if you could call them" 

"well, alright then, i guess i have to call them" ryan couldn't help but swim in excitement when he heard that. smiling brightly, he reached up to feel for shane's cheek,, and when located, pulled him in for a passionate kiss, and shane felt all their tension wash away and it seemed as if they were back in the honeymoon stage all over again. "thank you so much, shane" "anything for you, my love... now, let's get you out of the bath before you freeze to death"

"but shane, the water is still warm"

"it won't be forever though"

"but- fine, whatever... hey, shane?"

"yes, ryan?"

"i know i haven't said it a lot lately but i really do love you. i appreciate everything you do for me and i apologise for being harsh as of lately, i don't mean any of the things i say and i hope you know that"

"i love you too, ryan, and i know that you didn't mean any of the things you said, but keep in mind, i also said some pretty awful things and i regret all of it. i do the things i do for you because i care deeply for you" shane spoke softly as he rested his hand on ryan's nape, rubbing it gently with his thumb before pulling him in for a kiss; pulling away after some time with a bright smile on his face. "now out you get"

"alright, you big meanie, help me out"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry that it has been so long since i've published a chapter, i've actually gotten quit sick, which is also the reason why this chapter is quite short (and quite terrible) as currently, i feel as if my body and mind aren't really connected because it is so extremely difficult for me to think of things. however, i'm going to try and a publish things more frequently (:


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